I have no idea what my weight is today because the previous two days were sit on the couch and eat days. I probably gained 2 or 3 pounds. Today was an apple day.
It's interesting, this mental eating. I have not been hungry physically, but trying to fill some hole mentally. I realize eating doesn't fill the hole and I can see exactly what is going on but the realization doesn't stop the eating. It's like looking through a camera--detached from reality--it's happening to someone else. I become overwhelmed by all that needs to be done and then overcome by a helpless feeling, I am Procrastination and no amount of food kicks me into motion and helps me overcome fear. Fear of what? I don't know.
This is humanoarcheaology. Dig, dig, dig with lots of sweat and tears. I would love to get to the bottom of this. There was a time in my youth when I recognized the edge of this abyss and just forced myself to do whatever I saw at that moment that needed to be done. I did it in school. It appears that after graduation I lost my support group and routine and I am having difficulty adjusting. or something.
Tomorrow morning I will weigh and face the issue at hand at least.
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