Second Round

Beginning Weight:  249.0
Current Weight day 7:  243.1

The two loading days were more difficult this time, probably because I knew how uncomfortable I would feel for those days.  I started on June 7 after a 6-week period of maintaining.  I gained 3 lbs. at the beginning of the maintenance phase and maintained that weight (244 lbs.) until I began the second round.  
The first two days of the 700 cal. I lost 5 lbs. and began to lose that uncomfortable feeling.  It may have been a bad idea to begin the second round while away from home though.  I ran out of Gaurana (I take two in the morning) and my energy began to ebb and then the long trip home.  I was faced with a lawn needing mowing, laundry, and weeds, weeds, WEEDS!  I felt like I had jet lag the next day and commenced my morning by being a couch potato which led to the eating of carbs all day long.  In fact, for 3 days I was a carbaholic and gained back 4 of the 5 lbs. lost initially.  Depression had me in its grip!  I finally got out of the house on the fourth day by going to town with a friend during which I purchased my Gaurana.  Much better now, but the carbs call to me.
When I am not busy with commitments I flounder about, get depressed, and eat carbs.  This second round is much harder at the moment.  Thankfully, I have committed to cleaning someone's houses this summer which will get me out the door occasionally.
A month beyond my graduation I am having trouble, again, with my self confidence.  I miss my supportive class mates and the legal atmosphere.  Where is my motivation?  I begin my summer class next week and this may help, but I still need to get over the big hump of finding a firm which will accept me as an  intern.  I lost confidence after calling 12 firms and receiving a no from all while I was visiting my Mom.
My son has moved home, and while I love having him around I do NOT love having his apartment stuffed in every nook and cranny of my newly-arranged buildings and home.  I just feel I am being over run by clutter.  Time to crack the whip.  How to let these fellas know I need the help without seeming angry or nagging and thus losing cooperation?  I need to set boundaries and ground rules, I realize, but this has always been a hard thing for me and I avoid it because I have to argue, make people angry, and keep at it until habits are formed.  Maybe I need to put my bitch panties on and they'll realize the consequences are far worse than doing what is being asked.