I have gained back all the pounds I have lost. I think. I actually haven't weighed myself in several weeks. I have sunk into depression again and again. I was actually getting ready to walk out the door this evening to go spend the night in a motel. I didn't want to have to put on a happy face, or admit depression, or hell just speak. So when he asked what was wrong when he walked in the door I admitted deep depression. He said, "do I need to kick you in the rear to give you a good reason?" This is not the thing to say to a depressed person. This comment does not cheer. It's not funny in any way. So I have played along and now he feels like he's cheered me up I suppose. Or maybe he doesn't really care now that he's got his computer on. Who knows? I'm looking forward to sitting in the living room and reading. I don't want to speak, or comment on the day, or act amenable.
This is the numbing kind of depression which takes definite effort to move the muscles into a smile. Now if I could just be left alone to be numb and quiet. No calls back on any of the 10 resumes sent out and the ones I have called to touch base with are hesitating for some reason. Who the hell knows?
He SAID that? Stupid fucker. And I hear you on the job front. I'm not having any luck either. Hope things look up for you soon. There is an ad in the Tri-Cities Herald for a legal aid. You can come drink glow-in-the-dark water. :-)
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