Weights: 250.2, 249.0, 248.4
Gained a pound and then lost some. 12 lbs total. Weekends are a bitch when mr. doomsday spends both days at home on the computer upsetting me at intervals with the doomsday reports.
I doesn't seem to matter that I am not hungry because I am trying to feed an emotion. Shit. The past few days have been nothing but stress and I have dealt with it by eating. Plus I really don't like vegetables that much. I do like salad though. (not dry). I've got to figure out what to do about dressings. Some kind of vinaigrette, but I can't put oils in them. I made a honey/wine vinegar/mustard dressing and managed to still lose weight. Guess that's it.
Litigation team infighting, midterms, and a dying construction business all needing to be dealt with. I seem to have turned a corner this evening in my perception. This may have to do with going for a walk earlier. It helped.
"I am as fat as I am dishonest". I'll be thinking of what I am dishonest with myself about. Fears of failing, of not being able to cope with all the pressures? Fear of no respect for fat, dumb people who go a technical school and not a "real" school? In fact, I am afraid to think on this too deeply for fear of what I may expose.
I feel bloated this evening and suppose this has something to do with "that time of the month."
Where is that jaunty, hopeful person that began this experiment?
that jaunty hopeful person is still in there. compartmentalize. how do you feel physically (besides bloated)? are you feeling better? are you enjoying the feeling of skinnier fingers, a less-puffy tummy, a thinner face? this is why you need photos -- as a reward to yourself for the hard work -- you don't have to show them to us...
ReplyDelete{{hugs}} You are an incredibly strong person! We all seem to be easily tormented by our fears, and what we really need to focus on is each day.
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